Waiting

Why is it silent when it snows? It's like the whole earth is holding its breath. The pace of life slows, comes to a stop and sits in what seems like anticipation, just to watch the gentle soundless snow. If nature is truth and truth is God, then what could make God so silent? What is he waiting for?

To Fly

A jagged cliff hangs suspended in empty space. White swirling fog blurs the line between ground and sky, so that the clouds seem close enough to touch, no longer ethereal. No longer distant. My time has come. Nothing above me, nothing below me. There is a universe of possibilities, I know, extending on through the rushing wind, though I can see nothing but what is here with me now. A tree, solitary and worn smooth by weather, perches itself on the cliff face. Branches extend eagerly to the open sky and roots plunge deep into the hard rock, protruding  in places out over nothing, defying gravity and daring it to take effect. I understand the tree. A lone crow take flight with a sudden cry and plunges into the mysterious white heaven that surrounds us. My time has come. With the courage of my tree I reach out a hand into space and take my first step to fly. 

God Must Wear Camouflage

Cloaked in clothing made of stars, God and his angels could wait nearby, just above our heads, hiding in plain sight. I imagine, if I ever met God, he would be wearing a tuxedo that was as black as the deep recesses of space, shimmering lightly with his creations. There, on his elbow, would be a galaxy I recognized as mine.
"Come," He would take me kindly by the hand, a strong arm around my shoulder. "Come and see what I've made for you."
He would take me then on a tour of the cosmos, pointing out each wonder with a smile. Sometimes, I lose him in the backdrop of stars, but his hand is always there on mine.
Once we had seen everything, he said, "And now, one more surprise for you." With a little florish, he reveals to me a gown of stars woven together by the dust of the universe, twinkling like diamonds in the light of his smile. "A special dress for my special angel." My own camouflage.
When the day arrives that I die, look to the skies, I will be there watching over you in my twinkling dress, with God, wearing the camouflage of the Heavens.  

As I Lay Dying

As I lay dying
The stars hang suspended above me. I lay there for so long that they spin in circles around my head. I can feel the earth beneath me, impossibly huge and elegant. As the planet orbits in its graceful circles, I can see forever. 
As I lay dying 
I can feel my body becoming a part of earth itself. Though we are endlessly turning, the earth and I, winding our way through the cosmos, we do not get dizzy. We can see forever. 
As I lay dying 
On the cold cement of my driveway, I inhale once more to smell crisp winter air and frozen ground. I am one breath closer to death, one breath closer to becoming a part of the universe who's images I crave. One day another girl will lay here, where I lay now. 
"Look!" she will whisper to me. "Look. Can you see it? Can you feel it?" 
"Yes" I will reply and wrap her in arms of earth. "I always have."

Pure Snow

White snow blankets the ground, covering the earth in its purity. Innocence. It drains all passion and warmth from everything it touches. People reduced to huddling bundles of fabric. Trees reduced to skeletons. The world to outline and shadow. Only the innocent themselves can enjoy the snow. Small children shape their imaginations into white crystal, as pure as the snow they stand in.
Innocence is a sin. Pure snow hides the worlds true colors, disguising and disfiguring the truth. Ice crusts onto the things that are most important, distorting their shape, making it impossible to see reality. Innocence must be scraped away, chipped like icicles from off the truth, melted by the heat of life's sun. Innocence, like snow, causes nothing but heartache, is nothing but lies. Though the colors are hidden, they are not changed. Truth cannot just be forgotten. Reality can not be ignored. Not without a heavy price. And that price is your innocence. 

Breaking Character

Is this my curse? Is this the life I am consigned to? School, work, marriage, family? Is that it?
That's not enough for me. I want more. God I want more! It's not selfishness. It's not greed. I can't stand it! I can't stand living another minute knowing that this is all that awaits me. And when I die, what then? In any religion, what then? Reincarnated to live another life filled with emptiness!? Eternal life as a God, creating endless worlds just as normal as this one. Forcing others to live this life of mine? It is not ingratitude. It is despair. Complete and utter despair. For though my life will far supersede the lives of normal human beings, though I will make the most of this existence, this is all I will ever be. This is all there ever is. A life so far below any life I could imagine, that the only option seems to be to weep. For what good is anything else?

Macy's in the snow

I watch the rusty shopping carts roll by like a train of the wounded. Snow covered and dripping with half formed icicles, they are rushed into the heated store with the frantic pace of the dying. 
Aware of the peril, I place my heels against the rough ground of the grate, fearing lest I should be rushed into the warmth along with the metal carts on squeaking wheels that always turn just a little bit too far to the right.