Sunday, January 22, 2012

Breaking Character

Is this my curse? Is this the life I am consigned to? School, work, marriage, family? Is that it?
That's not enough for me. I want more. God I want more! It's not selfishness. It's not greed. I can't stand it! I can't stand living another minute knowing that this is all that awaits me. And when I die, what then? In any religion, what then? Reincarnated to live another life filled with emptiness!? Eternal life as a God, creating endless worlds just as normal as this one. Forcing others to live this life of mine? It is not ingratitude. It is despair. Complete and utter despair. For though my life will far supersede the lives of normal human beings, though I will make the most of this existence, this is all I will ever be. This is all there ever is. A life so far below any life I could imagine, that the only option seems to be to weep. For what good is anything else?

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